X-Men: Dark Phoenix: The Abridged Script


It turns out that tai chi is great for quelling those supervillainous urges.


FADE IN:

EXT.  HIGHWAY, 1975

YOUNG SOPHIE TURNER is on a drive with her PARENTS.

                          YOUNG SOPHIE TURNER
               Are we there yet?

                             SOPHIE’S MOM
               Not yet, honey.

                          YOUNG SOPHIE TURNER
               Are we there yet?

                             SOPHIE’S MOM
               I said no.  Quiet down.

                          YOUNG SOPHIE TURNER
               Sorry, one of the hissing malevolent
               voices in my head wanted me to ask. 
               Speaking of which, another one of them has
               a question: are we there yet?

                             SOPHIE’S MOM
               DON’T MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND.

                          YOUNG SOPHIE TURNER
               I’ll do what I want!

She uses BRAIN MAGIC to make her mother TURN THE CAR AROUND into
UNCOMING TRAFFIC.  The car gets SMASHED and FLIPPED and the PARENTS get
KILLED.

                          YOUNG SOPHIE TURNER
               Whoopsie!  Well, I’d say that was easily
               the second best prologue to a superhero
               movie, in which we flash back to the
               global threat as a child getting their
               family into a car accident, of 2019!
                 (pause)
               Look, this movie is gonna take whatever
               plaudits it can get.
                 (passes out)

She wakes up in a HOSPITAL, where JAMES MCAVOY comes to see her.

                              JAMES MCAVOY
               Hi, Sophie.  Now I know what you’re
               thinking, and yes, the scene where we meet
               happened completely differently in The
               Last Stand.  But remember Days of Future
               past changed the timeline, so we can do
               whatever the fuck we want.

                          YOUNG SOPHIE TURNER
               Yeah, Days of Future Past ALSO claimed
               that in the original timeline, Magneto
               went off to be a terrorist in 1962 then
               got thrown in prison for life for
               assassinating the President.  So how does
               it make any sense that he was hanging out
               with you helping to recruit students in
               1975?

                              JAMES MCAVOY
               Look, that’s not this movie’s fault. 
               We’re trying our best here.

                          YOUNG SOPHIE TURNER
               I see no evidence of that.  Anyway, I
               don’t know about coming to your school
               for freaks.  I think you just want to fix
               me.

                              JAMES MCAVOY
               Fix you?  Never!  You don’t need to be
               fixed, you’re fine!

                          YOUNG SOPHIE TURNER
                 (brightening)
               So the hostile whispers in my head that
               tell me to disintegrate people, that’s
               okay?

                              JAMES MCAVOY
               ...How about I go ahead and fix that for
               you.

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