Tall Girl: The Abridged Script


“Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with yoooouuuu!”


FADE IN:

INT.  HIGH SCHOOL

Six-foot-one AVA MICHELLE walks through the HALLWAY.

                            THREE DIFFERENT
                                STUDENTS
                 (actual line)
               How's the weather up there?

                              AVA MICHELLE
               God, why can't these people who have
               probably known me since kindergarten, not
               to mention my parents, look past my
               height?  There's so much more to me than
               being tall!  Like...  I dunno, I didn't
               completely miss the point of A
               Confederacy of Dunces.  There's that.

                          ANJELIKA WASHINGTON
               Girl, as your sassy black friend, I
               suggest you show off something else about
               you, like the talent you displayed on--

                              AVA MICHELLE
               WE DO NOT SPEAK OF DANCE MOMS.

                          ANJELIKA WASHINGTON
               Right.  Anyway, considering this idea's
               movie of two-dimensional is your sister,
               who is a) hot and b) riddled with
               allergies, just be happy with your one
               dimension.

                             GRIFFIN GLUCK
               I'll be happy with your one dimension! 
               I'll look past your height to see your
               model-like beauty that could easily set
               you up to be more famous than our entire
               graduating class put together!  OH PLEASE
               BEND DOWN SO I CAN SMELL YOUR HAIR!

                              AVA MICHELLE
               Look, Griffin, you're lucky I even let you
               be my lab partner considering what an
               annoying stalker you are.

                          ANJELIKA WASHINGTON
               Speaking of stalkers--

                              AVA MICHELLE
               I SAID IXNAY ON THE ANCE-DAY
               OMS-MAY.

Suddenly the HEAVENS part and send her Swedish exchange student LUKE
EISNER.

                            JEREMY CLARKSON
                 (voiceover)
               Some say that he learned to ride a bicycle
               before he was born and that he thinks in
               binary.  All we know is...  this
               character's name is Stig.

                              AVA MICHELLE
               Oh my God he's perfect!  He clears six
               feet AND he looks like a really pretty
               lost Hemsworth!  

                          ANJELIKA WASHINGTON
               Well, you might want to stop dressing like
               a minimum-security inmate every day, since
               your competition is--

                           BITCHY MCBITCHFACE
               Hi, new guy.  I'm hot and popular and
               teachers do nothing when I get the entire
               class to mock Ava.  Handjob on the
               bleachers?

                              LUKE EISNER
               Bork.

They walk off together.

                             GRIFFIN GLUCK
               So this means I have a chance, right?

                              AVA MICHELLE
               I should seriously just crush you with my
               thumb.

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