“Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with yoooouuuu!”
FADE IN: INT. HIGH SCHOOL Six-foot-one AVA MICHELLE walks through the HALLWAY. THREE DIFFERENT STUDENTS (actual line) How's the weather up there? AVA MICHELLE God, why can't these people who have probably known me since kindergarten, not to mention my parents, look past my height? There's so much more to me than being tall! Like... I dunno, I didn't completely miss the point of A Confederacy of Dunces. There's that. ANJELIKA WASHINGTON Girl, as your sassy black friend, I suggest you show off something else about you, like the talent you displayed on-- AVA MICHELLE WE DO NOT SPEAK OF DANCE MOMS. ANJELIKA WASHINGTON Right. Anyway, considering this idea's movie of two-dimensional is your sister, who is a) hot and b) riddled with allergies, just be happy with your one dimension. GRIFFIN GLUCK I'll be happy with your one dimension! I'll look past your height to see your model-like beauty that could easily set you up to be more famous than our entire graduating class put together! OH PLEASE BEND DOWN SO I CAN SMELL YOUR HAIR! AVA MICHELLE Look, Griffin, you're lucky I even let you be my lab partner considering what an annoying stalker you are. ANJELIKA WASHINGTON Speaking of stalkers-- AVA MICHELLE I SAID IXNAY ON THE ANCE-DAY OMS-MAY. Suddenly the HEAVENS part and send her Swedish exchange student LUKE EISNER. JEREMY CLARKSON (voiceover) Some say that he learned to ride a bicycle before he was born and that he thinks in binary. All we know is... this character's name is Stig. AVA MICHELLE Oh my God he's perfect! He clears six feet AND he looks like a really pretty lost Hemsworth! ANJELIKA WASHINGTON Well, you might want to stop dressing like a minimum-security inmate every day, since your competition is-- BITCHY MCBITCHFACE Hi, new guy. I'm hot and popular and teachers do nothing when I get the entire class to mock Ava. Handjob on the bleachers? LUKE EISNER Bork. They walk off together. GRIFFIN GLUCK So this means I have a chance, right? AVA MICHELLE I should seriously just crush you with my thumb.